THE LOYAL OPPOSITION

Give me a fucking break. Republicans are challenging media darling Obama with a collection of Jesus freaks and candy asses. Are they TRYING to lose? I might just have to sit out Election 2012.

Casey Anthony

You can strangle my toddler anytime, baby.

EXPLOSIONS IN THE SKY

I realize I haven't updated this blog in a while, so I apologize to the three of you reading it. I promise I will post something meaty and substantive in the very near future. That being said, I am tres excited about Explosions in the Sky's new album Take Care, Take Care, Take Care, which has just recently been released. If it's anything like their past efforts, it promises to be an ethereal adventure into the warmest and most charitable corners of the human soul. Their work is a testament to the power of music, and the idea that you don't need lyrics to communicate the divine to listening ears. Please check them out if you haven't yet done so.

MELLOW TRANQUILITY

Then as it was, then again it will be
An' though the course may change sometimes
Rivers always reach the sea
Flyin' skys of fortune, each have separate ways
On the wings of maybe, downy birds of prey
Kind of makes me feel sometimes, didn't have to go
But as the eagle leaves the nest, it's got so far to go

Changes fill my time, baby, that's alright with me
In the midst I think of you, and how it used to be

Did you ever really need somebody, And really need 'em bad
Did you ever really want somebody, The best love you ever had
Do you ever remember me, baby, did it feel so good
'Cause it was just the first time, And you knew you would

Do your eyes not sparkle, Senses growing keen
Tastin' love along the way, See your feathers preen
Kind of makes makes me feel sometimes, Didn't have to go
We are eagles of one nest, The nest is in our soul

Fixin' in my dreams with great surprise to me
Never thought I'd see your face the way it used to be
Oh darlin', oh darlin'

I'm never gonna leave you. I never gonna leave
Holdin' on, ten years gone
Ten years gone, holdin' on, ten years gone

MCCARTHY'S PROGENY

If you are one of the many people who have been lying awake at night wondering what my thoughts were on the current WikiLeaks debacle, fret no more. Iconoclastic writer Jim Goad pretty much spells out my position quite nicely in this article. It's worth reading for the paragraphs on race alone.

MEGYN KELLY

I am interested in working towards a situation where I am spending the rest of eternity as this woman's personal slut slave. She can ride me around like a pet pig. She can beat me mercilessly. Her friends can point and laugh. Yes. This would make me very happy. See that pair of shoes? I would be that pair of shoes. See that chair? I would be that chair. There would be no need for her to own a toilet. Why? Because I would be there. Groveling. Crawling. Worshipping. Right-Wing Goddess Forever.

I HAVE A DREAM DEFICIENCY

I never can seem to be able to have any actual GOOD dreams. All my dreams are either sad, scary, wistful, high tension, or downright stupid. Tonight I dreamed I was in a warehouse that was gradually filling up with motor oil, and I was slowly drowning in same. What the bloody fucking hell?

Hardly ever do I have just a good ole fashion sweet, pleasant dream. Hell, I'd settle for a semi-decent fuck dream at this point. Is there something permanently scraped onto my psyche that has now made it impossible for me to have cheery thoughts in my sub-conscious? Wait. Don't answer that.

GERALD POSNER: DREAM CRUSHER

Late to the party as always, I recently finished reading Gerald Posner's Case Closed: Lee Harvey Oswald and the Assassination of JFK. I have to admit the idea of a dark and sinister cabal conspiring to eliminate the 35th president has always appealed to my over-heightened sense of historical drama. Oliver Stone's brilliant (although mendacious) film JFK fed my hunger for cloak and dagger even further. Believing in such a thing makes life so much more interesting than what it is, and allows us the luxury of seeing our government through the lens of malice rather than incompetence.

So it is with a certain degree of reluctance that I recommend this book, but recommend it I must. It is painstakingly researched, more thorough than you could possibly want, and examines every conceivable angle of the various conspiracy theories that have been proffered in the almost half a century since the assassination. It comes to the conclusion that Oswald was the lone shooter, and acted on his own accord. I have no intention of covering all of the material found in the book, but a couple of points do bear mention. Both Oswald and Jack Ruby are revealed to be such ineffectual losers that it is almost impossible to believe any half-way competent organization would ever recruit either one of them for the ever so important task of murdering a highly ranked public official.

Additionally, how many of you out there knew Oswald had attempted to assassinate another public figure in Dallas months before he killed Kennedy? Anyone?? I thought not.

Jim Garrison, the infamous District Attorney of New Orleans, whose investigation of the assassination was the basis of the Oliver Stone film, is revealed to be little more than a small-time fascist, abusing his authority in every conceivable manner for the sake of creating headlines. In the process, Garrison harassed and charged an innocent man, Clay Shaw, with conspiracy to murder Kennedy. He was, of course, acquitted. As you may recall, the film JFK portrayed Garrison as an almost pure spirit warrior, whose thirst for truth could not be quenched despite the dark and evil forces opposing him. Garrison had a lot to answer for, and never did. As Christopher Hitchens said of the late Jerry Falwell, "It's a pity there's no hell for him to go to."

If you find Kennedy's assassination (and its resultant conspiracy theories) as intriguing as I do, but you haven't read any books on the subject, this one is a great place to start. It truly sets the standard for detail and research on the subject. All theorists suggesting a conspiracy henceforth must answer to it. My guess is they will be found wanting.

So yes, Posner has helped to destroy my dark dreams of a shadowy government that does of unspeakable things behind closed doors. I probably should thank him for it, but I'm still too traumatized at having my illusions shattered.